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Get out of those clothes, and I will bring some men’s clothes to disguise ourselves. Make sure you pack all your jewelry and money as we are going to need them. I’ll be back soon.”oOoWithin half an hour she was back with two sets of men’s riding clothes such as worn by the Sultan’s messengers. We donned the clothes and proceeded to stuff the four saddlebags with our belongings and crept out of my quarters and down the stairs to the doors of the harem. The guards at the gates were asleep or feigning sleep. One of them opened one eye and winked at me.Two horses were hitched to the balustrade in the courtyard. We rapidly mounted and started trotting away and out of the main gate of the palace. We were not stopped as it was common for the Sultan’s messengers to begin their journeys in the cool of the night.The streets of Constantinople were deserted, and we rapidly were out of the city. We hired a raft to carry our horses and us across the Bosporus. Once on the other side, we headed east. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.Time stood still.The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3.
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